Sta.sh
....not because of what I did....but what I DIDN'T Do.....
....because I IGNORED it...when others were claiming to be Dark Magician Girl....
.....instead of telling them they weren't and that MagicalBunnyLisa is the one and only true DMG....
.....I did the unbiased and neutral thing....and just ignored those parts of conversation....because I STUPIDLY THOUGHT that letting others have their own personal opinions and beliefs that he/she grew up with.....was a good thing....
....Because I was too STUPID to realize it....until it was too late....and now I find out the full problem...
....I'm now branded a Hypocrite by the one I love most.......and now am hated eternally by her
*Weeps bitterly...distraught at myself for not knowing until it was too late...*
LIFE IS GONE.......WHY MUST I HAVE TO CONTINUE IN THIS WORLD....why can't I DIE!!!!???
Why am I not given the chance for repentance of my ignorance?.....to make amends?....
...After 14+ months of heartfelt dedication........Why must it end like this?
====================================================
Specific bits of the fatal argument...the portion that points out my fault...went as follows:
Dark Magician Girl
• You dont love me, if you loved me you'd do and listen to what I feel not what you feel or think...
• and you've proved your point already that you dont love me by doing what you feel and think is right...
• you dont protect my name my title, what I am....you toss it aside and let someone else have what they seek...just because you feel and think its your own choice to say or want that.
• you cause this on yourself not I ...
• your the one ruining everything not I
David
• ....you want me to change....and hurt people's feelings......telling them that they should abandon what he/she has believed their whole lives?.
Dark Magician Girl
• im not telling you to hurt people im telling you to do what I feel..
• you dont protect my name or title you give it away to some other person who thinks their me and let them be me when i am who I am!
• and you say and state that I am!
• but your wrong because honestly...you dont even protect who I am..
• you give it away to someone else to be me!
• your a liar!
• a hypocrite!
• im going to post this on DA so everyone know what kind of "Protector" you say you are to me!
• *she floats off* my job in this world is done! fairwell human!
====================================================
(I posted my "fault" here on dA to save her the trouble of having to mar up her account...
WHY???...Why couldn't I just say to others like ManaDrkMagicianGirl that...
"YOU"RE NOT DMG...only MagicalBunnyLisa is.....NO Matter what your beliefs are.....I can only acknowledge MagicalBunnyLisa as DMG....and NOT you!".....
WHY...couldn't I tell people like this who "claim" to be DMG, that....
"I CANNOT allow YOU To speak freely....I must tell you that YOU ARE NOT DMG....and that's FINAL.."
"....Only MagicalBunnyLisa is Dark Magician Girl....no one else...."
WHY could I have just said those things???!!!!
....then all this mess could have been avoided....and never would have come to pass....
BUT NO...because I didn't keep everyone from speaking his/her thoughts about being DMG....
....Now SHE....the true DMG....hates me....and has left me....
....She has Branded me a Traitor...and has Burned the name of "Hypocrite"..."Liar"...and "False Protector" into my Skin...and Memory.....so that I may forever remember what i DIDN'T do....
I JUST DON"T UNDERSTAND...
....WHY GOD....WHY DID IT HAVE TO COME TO THIS????!!....
...WHY DID I HAVE TO BE UTTERLY SHATTERED....????
WHYYYYY??
...*Weeps even more bitterly...*
Sorrow 
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On the following days, draw/write your OTP:
You did what was right. You wouldn't go around detesting people's beliefs, and I believe that she wasn't deserving of you.
Someday you'll find a girl who's willing to give you her world. She'll want to love you forever and will let you protect her. dmg01 is not the only girl in the world.
It's not your fault. This is what she decided alone. And here's a really big point I've concluded....
If she really loved you, would who your friends with really matter to her? Shouldn't she be focusing on you, not who you talk to or what you say to them?
Hey, I don't have any belief I am the DMG. Frankly, I don't know if that's possible... but... that's someones belief, and everyone has a right to it.
Hey, you know my favorite quote when I had cancer?
"Everyone has a right to a beautiful life."
Don't let her take away yours. Being the religious type I am, God said she wasn't right for you, and he sees you are in a hour of need. He will help you in his guiding light and help you find one who's words sooth your hurt. You will find true love and be easily infatuated by her. And she'll love you back.
You have every right to a beautiful life, David. You deserve one. God is there with you, above you, and so am I. You are safe, fine, and warm. You will heal your wounds and live life. Don't worry, even if all else hell is against you, I'll be here to comfort you.
Maybe this whole time you've felt as a knight... when you need to accept you need one too? I will be that for you, and protect you. If someone hurts you, I am here. I only pray my words are enough comfort in your time of need. But these are not blank promises to go unfulfilled. I mean every word.
You had cancer?!...oh...I'm...so sorry
Though, I still suffer with not knowing what to do...or how to move on in the right direction...not knowing to stay or go....so many conflicting feelings inside...your words, did, and do make comfort for me...
Even if you don't consider yourself Dark Magician Girl, but more like Cure Mermaid.....I still can see a hint of the DMG love in you...
Thank you, Lady Kesley...
1. The girl you were with is selfish, delusional and unwilling to accept the cold hard facts of life. You are better off without her. She's essentially preyed on your fandom, and is acting like some sort of spoiled brat.
2. You've imprisoned yourself in your own delusion for so long and shut out reality; then when it comes back, it's almost too much to bear. Yes, breaking up with someone is hard, but the damage you've dealt yourself by being attached to a fictional character is your own fault.
3. If you're willing to have your life ended over this, I really think you'll have some serious problems when actual issues arise. Other people pretending to be Dark Magician Girl is not exactly a shock. Heck, playing soccer in primary school, teams there would often have three David Beckhams at a minimum.
The way I see it, you're better off without her, you need to snap back into reality, and if you really want to end your life over a problem, I'll trade you the devastations to my sanity that university caused me.
I can put all this on you because I have faced genuine problems that impacted my life in severe ways. I've had my sanity and will to live tested. But while life may not seem worth living for, death is NEVER worth dying for.
...A long time of reflection and several changing mood journal....as well as a new account change...puts much of what you said in truth...
I'm still not sure what to do in the end...but I know there's a fair amount of what you stabbed me with, with your comment...that is true....and until I figure out what to do...I'll continue to be stuck in my own mental nightmare...
...thanks for the comment...
Yes, I know suicide will never the the answer, and I'm sorry that my dark and clouded thoughts made it worse...I've just had a roller coaster of life these past year+...things get better, then fall into chaos all over again...it's been hard...
...but, if I thought I understood anything from what you said before...NOTHING of my problems, can compare to what you've had to go through...so I should just stop complaining about it...-_-;
Yes, only you can show me the door...and what happens it up to to me......I...just don't know what to do...as of yet...-_-
I've told you all I can, I guess. It's up to you to rise to the challenge and make something positive of it all. Can you do it?
No -_- I can't...because no progress comes from brooding over it...but talking about it helps...
I want to be able to rise up from this, but I'm still trying to figure out how to climb this staircase that is full of many traps; trying to understand what is where and what path to take up these stairs, so that I don't fall back down and end up here all over again.. -_-
All I can say, is that I need much time to think about everything...-_-...but I do appreciate your replies...after it took so long for me to reply to them...
Thank you for giving me a chance to explain...I appreciate it.
...as sympathetic, or sarcastic?...
...your response, if any, will deem your fate
I needed to be sure, due to all the insolence present upon this journal.
Nevertheless...newer journals stand up against this one...
...For you...I never had a problem with, nor do I find fault in you, as you never claimed to be, and I understood that you are a great fan of Dark Magician Girl, very similar to
Please do not feel sad regarding this
To as far as I knew, ~dmg01 never had any problems with cosplayers, and rather had often
Please don't feel so sorry and sad...this whole past event caused many troubled, mixed, and confused feelings...and I do not hold blame on you for what you said...rather I am sorry for the confusion caused to you...please cheer up...
Also, if she hates you now because someone else is pretending to be her favorite cartoon character, she OBVIOUSLY never cared about you to begin with
Harsh...but quite to the point...
...sorry...but end of discussion...:/